With Chance, Merry Christmas

Everyone likes a happy ending movie . Everyone wishes that the the poor beautiful girl married the handsome prince and lived happily ever and after. Everyone likes a happy story.

The mood of Christmas is in the air, the message is in our hearts.

"God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son", Jesus was the revelation of God's love.

But I believe that my Master had another message as well when He sent His Son.

Jesus is, God saying, "Here, HE is your last chance".

Since the devil corrupted the human race, the one thing we all do in common is play the blame game. Blame each other and get kicked out of Eden, we do this all our lives. This eats our joy and most importantly our potential.Our potential to be what our Maker really made us to be.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

You started off with zeal, but somewhere down the road, you lost track of your route.Now you find yourself in a place that is truly detestable. A life steadily drowning in a deluge of secret sin.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

Nice words no longer heal your wounds, you've seen that no relationship kept its promise. You are thirsty and distraught but every love you find is a shallow puddle. You are betrayed and bitter.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

You thought, life could not be any better.Your world was perfect.Suddenly everything came crashing down. Before you could realize what's going on, you were buried inside rubble and debris.You are bruised and bleeding but no one can help.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

With the economy tumbling down, your future is turning its back on you too, you don't find the opportunities which promised you a great life there any more.You are afraid and confused wondering how you will journey in a strange and different world all by yourself.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

You feel you are living somebody else's life, feeling overtly responsible and completely lost track of your passion and purpose. You are just dragging your life along, instead of living it.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

You feel that you've worked too hard and deserve a luxurious break, but that seems impossible,considering the pressure,competition,responsibilities on your back, life just seems to get harder and complicated everyday.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

You have tasted every good thing in life, but still there is a vacuum that refuses to settle. An emptiness that sucks your peace, making you feel worthless and your life meaningless.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

No one cares to see the jewel that you really are, no one cares to recognize your rare potential. You don't fit in the crowd, because you are special. But people call you strange.Even you can't understand yourself, and absolutely clueless about what you will amount to.

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

Things have begun to slow down, and you wonder, if everything you ever slogged and sweat for is really worth it. The greatest question of life become to strike real on your face."Is death really final?" "Where is my journey from here?" "Can anything be done about my not-so-perfect past?" "Am I really hopeless?"

If it is you out there, Jesus is your last chance!!

Christmas, by itself is only the beginning of a story that began in a tiny place called Bethlehem, the angelic choir or the royal gifts alone don't make it a happy story. Surrendering yourself to this Last Chance given to you by God can recreate the magic of Christmas in your life and in your home, and spark the beginning of a spectacular journey and a glorious destination, with the Master Himself.

Many are dying everyday without knowing that they have a Last Chance, and many of our brothers and sisters are forced to depart their earthly bodies so that the rest of the world may see their Last Chance.

Have you used your Last Chance?
Have you helped someone see their Last Chance?

Wishing you a Merry Christmas filled with true Christmas joy!!

Living with my Last Chance and enjoying every bit of it..
Callie

Laboring Queens

The last week was berserk.

Mumbai, the most energetic metropolitan of India was paralyzed with fear when terrorists attacked 11 busy and populated places on 26th November.The Taj luxury hotel, a prestigious 105 year old heritage building was under siege holding in custody many hostages. The Oberoi Trident Hotel was also victim to the same.The Nariman House, which is a Jewish outreach center in the city was seized and assaulted leaving 8 of its inmates killed. The total number of confirmed fatalities of the 2 day Islamic militant attack sized up to 195 and more than 300 people were wounded.

In Tamil Nadu, torrential rains created havoc.86 persons died, and thousands became homeless.Roads became inaccessible, and standing crops in over 100,000 acres of land became totally submerged in flood waters.

I was reading the book of Esther as a part of my daily devotion and in seasons of crisis, such as these times, I've learnt many lessons for my own life from the life of Esther.

"...Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" [Esther 4:14]

The Background

King Xerxes ruled over a kingdom that stretched from India in the east to Egypt in the west.

The lives of all the Jews living in this Persian empire were threatened by the order given by King Xerxes who in-turn was poisoned by minister Haman, an anti-semitic.
One Jew was safe, Haddasah, who rose to be a queen and was later named Esther.

She had a choice, she could reveal her identity and fish an opportunity to save her kindred, but if the King was not convinced she could lose her life instantly. Or ; she could stay silent, and live in safety and comfort while her brethren were being massacred.

We know how Esther fasts and prays for 3 days to boldly confront the situation. She meets the king, despite the high risk involved, plans a perfect banquet inviting Haman, and gently revealed to the king his evil ploy , and further created opportunities to provoke his anger and completely destroyed Haman, along with his plan and secured the safety and progress of the Jews.

The Lessons

Some are called to be a queen in the enemy's palace.

I am graduating in Engineering this year, I plan to do a masters in Business Administration and also want to be certified in various technologies.I see myself as an entrepreneur in the near future handling diversified products and services.

But do you know what I am called for?

I am called to be laborer in the field of the Lord's harvest.This is not my wish list, but my confirmed purpose.

Every work, every degree, every business venture for me is an effort, an act of labor in my Father's vineyard.

Esther used her position to maneuver the decision of the king preventing the annihilation of the Jews.She could not have done this, had she been an ordinary Jew girl.[Esther 5:3]

Sometimes God gives His children extraordinary position and power in this sinful world, not just because He loves to "bless" but because there is an assignment that He intends to complete through the position He's given you.
*God uses those who are willing to be promoted but who are not willing to be assimilated.

Greater the position, higher the responsibility towards the Kingdom.

You need Prayer even if you are a queen.

It is strange how some of us label only a few as "prayer warriors", and conveniently delegate the conscious praying habit to them alone.

She was the queen, but she fasted and prayed for 3 days in order to confront the situation with the king.[Esther 4:15]

Fasting is the act of humbling your whole being to the sovereignty of Almighty God.Prayer is the result of my yearning to be connected without interruption to the Heart of the Master.

Esther did not 'brainstorm' or try 'six thinking hats' or operate on 'metaphorical thinking' ,or 'Fuzzy thinking' or 'mind mapping' or 'Synetics' , to solve her crisis situation; instead she prayed.

I don't deny the power of creative thinking, but that comes second to the power of prayer. Don't just do it, Pray first; a prayer of humble submission.A prayer of total acknowledgment of the authority of God. The Master will then speak His strategy and plan for action.

Because she prayed,

1. she found favor in the eyes of the king and found an opportunity to meet him,[Esther 5:2]
   
2. she came up with a strategy to throw a banquet inviting Haman ;[Esther 5:4]
3. God made the king have swings of insomnia which compelled him to read the old diaries where he read the account of how Mordecai had saved his life from an assassination plot years before.He was reminded that he never rewarded him,so early next morning the king make arrangements to reward him.[Esther 6:1-10]
   

All of this further made way to complete her assignment.

On the day of the banquet, Esther intelligently provoked the king's anger by exposing Haman and his evil plot and caused him to be hung in the gallows that he arranged for Mordecai.[Esther 7:1-10]

Divine providence will not come your way, without continuous conversation with God.

Give up your present and step out in courage and faith.

Hadassah, gave up her comfortable average, ordinary Jew girl's life, and proceeded to venture out into an entirely new world, to become a queen in a pagan palace. She had to undergo 12 months of beauty treatment and preparations before she could enter the contest and qualify to be King Xerxes' new queen.[Esther 2:12-18]

It is easy to play a safe game, and stay secure. But it needs tremendous courage to get out of your comfort zone and dare to take the challenge.It takes preparation and perseverance to be promoted.I believe Hadassah believed that she was not ordinary material, so she stepped out and she made a difference in the lives of millions of Jews.

Once she became queen Esther, she did not settle for luxury, and allow her self to become a slave to the new life that had got hold of her, instead she stepped out in boldness risking her life by deciding to reveal her Jewish origin, saying "If I perish, I perish".[Esther 4:16]

As a Christian, we need to face battles in every day life, because we have a very powerful enemy who is afraid of our very powerful potential given to us by our omnipotent Father.

We have a choice, we can fight and move forward or grumble and remain where we are.

You make the decision.

Will you step out in faith and take a risk, and reap the benefit, for yourself and many others whose whose eternity depends on you?

"...Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"[Esther 4:14]

Will you step out to serve?

It was unfortunate though, that recently when I was cleaning a wardrobe my eyes fell on the gift I had given a loved one.

My mind raced back remembering where I had bought it, how many other different gifts I considered before my mind set on this , how dear and precious this loved one was, that I wanted to get something that would help the person in a special way.

And not just that, I had penned down a few words straight from my heart. The words too were there glaring at me.

That cherished gift that I had presented with a lot of noble intentions was lying there, uncared for, unnoticed, and unused.It stung my heart hard.I was angry and disappointed wondering if the person ever understood the value of what I had bought and I wished if I go right out and give that person a piece of my mind. But my Master had other lessons..

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10

I realized recently, that the gifts God give us, does not come with a bright red wrapper, that we usually expect, I also doubt that if God always uses dramatic visitations to impart his personal gifts to His children.But since, we get carried away looking for tags and wrappers, we miss the point and don't identify the many gifts God has given us.

It is my imagination that after God created me., my basics and my framework without which I cannot survive on the planet. He took me to His secret place and placed several special, precious, and unique gifts in my life., because thats what people do to what when they call someone as their "prized possesion"...they give them things immensely valuable.

My Master does things differently, not just because He is God but because His love is Higher and His ways greater, and because He is my Father. He chose not to make the gifts reveal themselves from the day I was born, but only after I personally identify and acknowledge and honour those gifts.

It is the responsibility of everyone who claims to be a 'born-again', 'spirit-filled' Christian to honour the gifts given by God. Failing to do so, is a clear sin.

I believe firmly and I have experienced personally, that when we begin to serve, the gifts that God had embedded in our framework start to show up.

• For a long time, I wasted a lot of my thinking fuel trying to figure out what exactly I was good at, I was brainstorming, meditating and tried every other tactic to find out my gift. Nothing helped, it only made me feel worse and one fine day, I gave up, concluding that gifts were meant only for special people, not for an ordinary girl who's just struggling every day to keep her Christian life intact.

When we give up, God starts up. He gave me few mundane unappealing opportunities, and waited to see if I'll serve.Serve like a servant. A great man of God once said, "You know that you serve like a servant by seeing your reaction when you are treated like one."

I stopped looking for 'big' things and started serving in small things for ordinary people whom I meet everyday,little then did I realize that through that I was serving an extraordinary God.The more I gave myself up for serving, slowly but gloriously I began to see different gifts in my life unveiling everyday.The truth was that my loving Master, did not put just one gift, (actually I was searching for just a single one!!) but several interlinked and related gifts in my life.

People who complain, that they are not talented or gifted are those who've not really stepped out and dared to serve. God's gifts will remain wrapped up and sealed all the days of your life if you are not going to decide to serve. Serving is not a gift by itself meant for a few who are 'called', rather it is the vehicle for any gift to actually operate.It is God's "Directions for use" for your gift. Unless you embrace this, you cannot use it, honour it or even identify it.

"As each of you has received a gift (a particular spiritual talent, a gracious divine endowment), employ it for one another as [befits] good trustees of God's many-sided grace [faithful stewards of the extremely diverse powers and gifts granted to Christians by unmerited favor]."1 Peter 4:10[Amplified Bible]

• Another thing that stops us from stepping out is the fear of making mistakes. This is one thing that am fully convinced about. As long as you are going to be afraid of messing up somewhere, you'll be doing nothing.

I've also made this observation from my own life. I have never been a 'perfectionist', but I have been a very skillfull fault finder. I used to find fault wih everyone and with everything . Becuase of this attitude of mine, I was afraid to be used, fearing that people would find fault with me. God changed this attitude of mine, and taught me that it was not my business to judge others' works.

Once this changed, I stopped seeing mistakes and started embracing every opportunity. When I let down the burden of judging the acts and works of others, my life became easy and free to do the things that God had wanted me to do.

• I gave lack of recognition as an excuse for not using my gift. But that's not the purpose of God's gift.God does not give gifts to His children to impress others but rather to impact others.You need to be a boss to impress, but you need to get dirty and stoop down with your serving attitude to impact lives for the Master.That's when your gifts begin to surface and shield you with power to administer God's grace in the lives of others.

Today, I don't know of any who are blessed or comforted with what I write but I know of many, who began to write for the Master's glory after seeing me write!! Maybe God will bring up an annointed writer from among them who will touch the hearts of millions with the healing power of my Master. Can you see how I am used?

When the Master returns, He's going to be very angry if he finds your gift unnoticed, uncared and unused, because the gift in your life is an exclusive one.

Your gift has an assignment that bears the responsibility of many other lives which it has to touch, heal and transform.

Will you step out to serve?

The red-purse

I was frantically searching for my money-purse today. Inspite, of my friends and parents reprimanding me, I have not yet learnt the habit of carrying it everywhere I go, so I usually lose track of where my purse is; but then., I've never lost it.I retrieve it when required.

Today, I needed to give money to a friend so I was trying to locate it. I searched for it in every ususal place.I cleared up the mountain of papers,books and other junk on my table and started my expedition of finding my red purse.The electricity went off and if I continued any further considering my exceptional eyesight, it would be a vain attempt. Moreover, it was nearing the time to board my bus to college, and I would in no way want to strike the first day of my exam on a wrong note.

Caught in a deluge of information, formulas, principles, names and propositions relating to Management. The image of my red purse tried floating through, ressisting the strong currents of my brain waves working hard with the answer sheet.

After the ordeal, inside the exam hall. Thorougly exhausted, and with fingers frozen with pain. I forgot about the red purse. I had a peaceful nap in the bus, and then returned home to continue. I slept for a while and then, the red purse came back. No alarm could have woken me up faster!!! I woke up with a startle and headed straight downstairs and began looking for it.

I searched and searched, in the process I cleared so much of junk(my study hols quota!!) that was piled up in the hall.I emptied the huge stack of old papers and believe me, I understood the meaning of "nook and corner" only today. 

No avail, I could'nt find it anywhere. I started mentally preparing myself to be given up for condemnation to be proved guilty and then to receive punishment. I heard the voice of my mom in my head, "You are such an irresponsible person!!", my dad, "You are lazy and unorganized".Then finally the verdict, "No more money, no more cards, everything will be stopped hereafter". Wow!! my brain was enjoying a roller-coaster ride for free.

It is great to have your grandparents around, and I have the privelege of having my loving grandma living with me.When she saw my frenzy,she patiently asked me some questions about the whereabouts of my purse, when and where I last saw it, and then gave me a stick and asked me to move it under the TV table and feel for my purse there. I didn't really believe that my purse would lie in that dark dirty corner. But I just did what she said. 

Bravo! Eureka!! I found my long lost red purse covered with a layer of dust. I picked it up wiped off the cobwebs that had gotten over it.And then I gave it to my grandmother, I said "Ammachi, Here! you keep it and I'll get it from you when I want. Only you can keep it safe".

I just made a mental decision to never throw my stuff around, but this experience taught me just more than that.

I too, like my red purse sometimes wander off to a dark dirty corner. No one really notices, at first. But then as my behaviours begin to change, my attitudes change, and when laziness creeps in, then do people realize that I'm no where to be found.But there I am!! covered with dust and cobwebs  in a dirty dark corner.

My Master finds me.., no matter where I'd side track and then give me to the Safe Hands of the Holy Spirit (forgive me if I am theologically wrong!!) The Holy Spirit is the only One who truly knows me fully well.He takes care of me, nurtures me, gives me a gentle pat when I am wrong and sometimes a tough spank when I throw a tantrum. 

So safe and comfortable are His hands.If I need to be conected with God always, then the I need to surrender myself completely to the Holy Spirit. We can't really have 'more' of Him in your life rather we have to surrender the whole of us to Him.The Master may need me any time, sometimes for a Big thing and sometimes just for a little mundane errand,and if I am not found in the place where He left me then I lose a big opportunity to serve Him. So I decide to cling on firmly to the Holy Spirit.

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,"[1 Peter 5:6]

Sometimes we consider the Holy Spirit just as an offer in the pacakage called 'salvation'.It is true that the moment you surrender your lives to Christ Jesus, the Holy Sprit comes and lives in your hearts. But thats only part of the story, it is we who have to give Him ultimate ownership and leadership of our heart,mind,soul, and body.Doing so helps us to walk around truly as sons and daughters of the living God.

Like my red-purse, now that I am in safe Refuge, He'll make sure that I don't wander off but stay secure, so that when my Master needs me he can pick me up and use me.

Cannot be forgotten

Dear Friends,

We are usually prone to getting into an emotional fit when everyone talks about persecution and pain, and then as time goes by conveniently forget things and carry on with our own lives.

I just want to encourage you to continue to join hands with thousands of other believers and pray for the persecution against our fellow brothers and sisters in our country. Orissa is still burning, and the injustices are still continuing with increased intensity.

Maybe we are separated by distances but we can travel on our knees and fight together. 

Traveling on your knees  

Last night I took a journey

To a land across the seas.

I didn't go by ship or plane - 

I traveled on my knees.

I saw so many people there

In bondage to their sin,

And Jesus told me I should go,

That there were souls to win.

But I said, "Jesus, I can't go

To lands across the seas."

He answered quickly, "Yes, you can -

By traveling on your knees."

He said, "You pray, I'll meet the need.

You call, and I will hear.

It's up to you to be concerned

For lost souls far and near." 

And so I did; knelt in prayer,

Gave up some hours of ease,

And with the Savior by my side

I traveled on my knees.

As I prayed on, I saw souls saved

And twisted persons healed,

I saw God's workers' strength renewed

While laboring on the field.

I said, "Yes Lord, I'll take the job.

Your heart I want to please.

I'll heed your call and swiftly go

By traveling on my knees..

By Sandra Goodwin

Prayer brings victory

How to pray for the persecuted church?

Affectionately yours,

Callie

Unanswered..Unasked!!

With just a few days more for my examinations, I feel suffocated. Maybe, I'm not all worked up but the weight is on my head and it is kinda haunting. There is this one particularly hard subject called Digital Signal Processing, which is giving me the goosebumps.

In seasons like this I just wish if there was some kind of pen drive that I could use to stuff the gargantuan formulas in my head, unfortunately or fortunately God did not make provisions for any external drives in our bodies.

The only best break I can give myself is to loiter around this special space that I've made for myself on the web.

And I have something very special to share about my Master too..

How many times have we really prayed for something and never got the answer that we expected? Or let me put it this way, How many times have we felt disappointed by God?

Well, I am not yet spiritual enough to say that I've always considered it pure joy whenever I felt that every prayer of mine reached the ceiling and then bounced back on my own head."Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,[James 1:1]"

I've felt disappointed, neglected and sometimes even cheated.......by God."How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?[Psalm 13:1]"

What an audacity must I have to say this about the Creator King ??

But that's the truth.. When God introduced Himself to me for the first time, I didn't really see Him as God, in His holiness and splendour. I just saw Him as a friend, a loving saviour who would make me a perfect candidate to heaven and give me the best life on earth.

Slowly, in each step of my journey with Him did I realize His greatness, His holiness, His majesty, and His power."...—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever [1 Timothy 6:15-16]"

Then I saw how unworthy I was to even call upon His name, only then I understood His grace and I still cannot comprehend his Love.I also saw that the journey was not going to be as ritzy as I imagined.

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. [1 John 3:1]"

Despite these realizations, when prayers seem unanswered for a long time; my inner person becomes like a deflated balloon.

"My soul is in anguish.

How long, O LORD, how long?

I am worn out from groaning;

all night long I flood my bed with weeping

and drench my couch with tears.[Psalm 6:3,6]"

Many prayers of mine have not yet been answered. And I am not keeping count either.But we cannot talk a 'one size fits all' strategy for dealing with unanswered prayers.

I think that if we can understand the category our unanswered prayer falls in, it would be easier to deal with it. These are just some of the categories that I have identified in my really small number of years as a Christian

1) When I clearly do not pray God's will, nothing will happen.

2)When I hold something against someone or are unforgiving then too will God not consider my requests.

3)When God wants to deepen my characters, He delays the answers.

4)When He wants to give me a double recompense he will allow me to go through pain and distress.

5)Sometimes, He just wants me to rely on His grace, and not on the answer to the prayer.

I started off, wanting to write about my unanswered prayers and what I need to do about it but I guess I'm going to wind up talking about unasked prayers.

I've heard numerous testimonies of how God has heard prayers and given miraculous answers.But somehow, I've never been bright enough to ask for the thing that is good enough for me. So God doesn't give me what I ask (fortunately!!!) but gives me what He thinks is best."As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.[Isaiah 55:9]"

Not to forget the numerous accidents that I've escaped, the deadly diseases that don't come near me, the lovely family that's still bonded to together, the scrumptious food that I eat everyday, the friends who love me in spite of my craziness, the resources that I have access to, the talents that I have.... I never really prayed to receive any of these things. But my Master has carefully designed each of the minutest details, even though I never asked."...With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God.[Philipians 4:6]"

I'll end this note with the verse that I consider is the mantra of my life (atleast at the moment!!!)

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us [Ephesians 3:20]"

The Contemporary English Version Bible puts it like this,"... His power at work in us can do far more than we dare ask or imagine"

You bet!! we wont even dare ask for the things that He has in mind for us. That is the heart of my Master.Only the best for His children-no compromises on that!!

I complained about the things I asked and never got, what about the thousands of miracles that happen everyday in my life., without me never asking for it?

Have I forgotten about that?

My Maker as my mother

"As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you" Isaiah 66:13

This is one the most loved scriptures of all times.It is my favorite too.

You know why?

Because I started identifying a meaningful relationship with God only when I began seeing Him as my mother.

I gave myself to Jesus Christ when I was 13, at that time my only confidant was my mom. I've told her many times, "I have only one parent and that is daddy, you are my friend." I don't know if she remembers but I've even done crazy things like even giving her friendship bands. I can actually count the number of times I actually call her "amma" or "mummy" because the other times, it is just a "hey!", "You girl!!", and other wierdo names, which if I mention will really ruin my reputation :-)

I realized how emotionally dependent I was on her only when I went to be on my own for pursuing higher education.

I missed her when I sat to study, I missed the 'ishing' sound that her slippers made when she walks around. I missed her hyper tension when she begins to lose a spat with my dad.I missed the mummy smell that came only on her. I missed the way that she would listen to my silliest joke and have a hearty laugh.

I missed the way she would be curious to know a gossip that I just finished on phone with a friend.I missed the way she'd patiently listen to my new 'findings' and 'bible studies'.I missed the way she would be bothered about the tiniest pain that came on my toe.I missed the way she'll spend all the Christmas money on our clothes and accessories and get herself something real cheap.

I missed everything about her.

But now when I look back, I think that the greatest force that got me and my Master real close was this 'missing her' syndrome that took over me during those times.Since I could think of no one who could fill that place when she was not around, I started seeking and longing more for God. I'd run to Him everyday after school to tell him every single thing that happened.

When I'd have the runs of insomnia I'd place my head on the floor and believe that I'm placed my head on His lap and see with the eyes of faith His mighty hands stroking my head within moments I'd sleep like a baby. Because mom was not around, I learnt to fight with Him, (hehe!!) call Him names and every other crazy thing that I did with my mother, now was with my God.

And you know what,I discovered that my God is a great mother.He taught me things that people often say only "mothers" can teach, the girlish stuff I mean. I had been a real wimp for a long time, He taught me that my tears were precious and I should not be wasting it for every exaggerated teenage melodrama.He made me a strong person at heart and in the mind."... I will strengthen you, I will help you,I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I am 21 years now, my relationship with my mom has not changed.Only one difference, I am now completely dependent only on my God - "mother". And my mom has been an instrument for implementing this change in my life.

She thinks that she is a no-good ordinary person. But my Master left all the intelligent and brilliant ones and picked her up to rear and upbring a whole generation that will now honor and glorify only Him."...God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong" 1 Corinthians 1:27

Above any other achievement, this is the greatest privilege for any woman.

My Jericho called Time Management

(I deleted this post earlier, because I thought it was irrelevant to "My Master's Voice", but then daddy thought it was good so here it is again!!!)

Exams round the corner.The worst time of the year. The only time of the year when I get to see the wee hours of the morning and I wont deny that, it is during these times, there is a lot of strain on my prayer life and Bible reading too.

With a lot of work piled up ahead of me and loads and loads of stuff that I have to stuff into my brain.I resort to fast food for my spiritual diet. A quick prayer for "wisdom", and skimming up a few verses, at the end of this season , my inner person reduces to zero size.

So how do I break free and give to God what belongs to Him and give to Caesar his share as well?

The key is......Time Management

I read in a book , "Time management is Life Management", and I think that, that is completely true. I've missed on many opportunities for serving God because of my bad time management, and sometimes I feel I've given God Cain's offering when I do things in a haphazard manner in the nick of time.

So I decided to do some serious thinking.

Grrr!!! why on earth do I not have enough time?????

I followed the 80/20 rule, 80% of my time was being spent by 20% of the trivial things,and therefore I did not have quality time for the remaining things that really mattered the most in my life.

Pro..Pro...cras..tin..a..tion

When I am going through a bad phase..my dad always says, "you've eaten the live frog now...nothing else can be worse than this". I need to apply this philosophy while I am juggling time as well. When a set of tasks are presented before me, I should pick up the toughest one, and the one I hate the most to start with. Because if I am going to delay that, I will never set my hands on it.

Practice...Practice...Practice...

Old habits die hard, and good habits are born hard.Beware!!! time management is not an art that I can afford to miss. It is an absolute essential like food or water. The quality of my life will improve only if I put my heart and soul to practice it.

I just hope and pray that I'd manage time properly this time so that I'd do my exams really well, and also not miss out on hearing my Master's Voice!!

A random thought..

(This post was supposed to be here on August, but I started typing it in an angry fit of emotions, so I decided not to post it...things have cooled down and now when I read it..I think it is ok for it to be here..It has got nothing to do with the Master's voice..just a random thought!!)

There's one thing that no one would ever say "No thank you", is genuine encouragement. This is something that is really hard to get, especially when you're in desperate need for it. Sometimes you really need someone to say, "Go for it","You can do it", "I trust you man". Unfortunately, we hardly get to hear them.

Sometimes people don't really discourage us with negative comments, but when we adore someone and expect a word of encouragement from them and nothing comes from their mouth, that is very discouraging by itself.

Criticism is not discouragement and I beg to differ with anyone who thinks so, I love it when people criticize me, that's because I know that such people have taken the effort and gone the extra mile to analyse my work. My criticizers are those who know my potential and are not satisfied with all my achievements until I reach my limit.

I thank God for my father, my greatest critic. If my dad says it good, then I don't look for a second opinion. He's never really patted my back and said, "You're really good at this, wonderful work!!". Instead he says, "Its no surprise for me, but you still have a long way to go". This keeps me going. I remember the times I really messed up my life, my critic father was at that time the greatest motivator. He asked me to learn and move forward.

My sister on the other hand is a great encourager, many years younger to me but she sometimes she talks like a sage. I would have missed many opportunities  if she was not there by my side to tell me, "Stop thinking and just GO FOR IT"!!

What I want to convey through this post is this; there are some who don't say anything at all. Those in the 'silence ministry'. If there's anyone who've discouraged me, it was those who belong to this category.They really don't speak out and you spend half you're life wondering what they're thinking.Maybe I'm not matured enough to understand what their intentions are, but as of now I just feel that such people are the lazy ones. 

They are the ones who cannot inspire other lives either by their work, or their words. They don't really help build lives.They just linger around, snooping at others' work and wonder why they are not doing anything. 

I believe that an encourager builds others as well as fishes opportunities to edify himself. Just encourage a person around you, and the next time when you look at the person he'll show that big smile on his face that will make your day.You'll also become the confidant of the person. 

I don't know about you, but if someone trusts me and says that out, that's my greatest compliment.

Finally...

I put a post-it note on my desk that shouted "Work on LHC" on September 10th. It sure was an ugly frog, so I was delaying it.It is the 26th of October today, and more than a month since the LHC was shut down(19th September) due to a serious fault.

So I think, it is high time I got my hands dirty with this work.The reason I was procrastinating  it was because, I am an average student of physics and understanding this stuff requires some physics brain. But some of my readers will be familiar with my philosophy,"Better late than Never :-)"

But first, I need to tell you that we all are greatly indebted to the internet, and especially resources like Wikipedia, Howstuffworks, and thousands of other free projects that participate in knowledge sharing.If not for them , no way could anyone, except for the intellectually elite have any idea about the complicated world of Science and Research.

So I'll work on this in two parts. In one part, I'll show off how much I've learnt and in the other I'll share some ordinary insights!!

Wish me luck!!

My Promise

When I begin to write this post, I am as expectant as you, because I have no clue about what I am going to write.I don't intend to write a whiny post but forgive me if it turns into one.

I never really understood the influence my sinful nature had on my life until recently."I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate."[Romans 7:15]

I considered myself to be a born-again, Christian who reads the bible and prays fairly regularly, and tries hard to obey my Master voice in every situation. I always thought that my life was only influenced by the ways of the Master.

But recently when I was confronted with a few situations I realized how hard it was for me to actually obey the Master. I loved God and and all that but the unfortunate truth was that my sinful nature still had a dominion over me in certain areas of my life."For sin shall not be your master..."[Romans 6:13].This illumination made me really depressed and discouraged.

Everything I thought and did felt like hypocrisy, so I decided that I would abstain from writing and focus on other work until these things got sorted out.But the problem was that I couldn't concentrate on anything else until I wrote something. I was badly stuck!!

I am reading the book of Jeremiah, and there was something in here that I felt spoke of my concerns very well. "Perhaps he will be persuaded and deceived; then we will prevail against him, and we will get our revenge on him.[Jeremiah 20:10]"

This was exactly what I felt the devil was mocking at me.He wasn't trying any strong arm tactics, but there he was trying to deceive me into falling for his wooing persuasion."And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering."[Romans 8:23]

I thank my Master for giving me the insight to understand the schemes of the devil. But, now that I have realized the control that the flesh still has over my life, it has become a very shameful realization. After all these years of pure unconditional love from my Master, here I am struggling to overcome my flesh.

I am reading the book of Jeremiah now and this book truly communicates the Heart of my Master.God calls His children "the first fruits of His harvest","My children","My people","My minister","My house","My heritage","the dearly beloved of My life","My vineyard","My portion","My pleasant portion".

When I read each of these words, my heart aches within me. My Master, He is God of awesome power and highest honor, but there He is with His arms open wide with nothing but love. Can I ever love Him back with the love He loves me with?

Maybe I started this post on a whiny note, but I choose to not end it with one.Because...

"But the Lord is with me as a mighty and terrible One; therefore my persecutors will stumble, and they will not overcome [me]. They will be utterly put to shame, for they will not deal wisely or prosper [in their schemes]; their eternal dishonor will never be forgotten." [Jeremiah 20:11]

But this whole episode will serve as a constant reminder though I am His child and have His love, my flesh is constantly at work in my life, and that I need to be cautious stand up and fight so that I can secure my love towards Him. I will overcome because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.Not only that... I have divine genes in me. Because He is holy, I will work towards becoming Holy and He will help me."Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us."[Romans 8:37]

I will not let my Lord down, because He never gave up on me. I will stand up for Him and resist every scheme of the evil one.

I will be His beloved daughter with whom He can share His heart..........Forever.

This is a promise I make to you Master because of the faith I have in your Grace!!

God can make the rich young ruler follow Him too...

The rich young ruler could not renounce his worldly possessions in order to follow Christ Jesus.Jesus remarks, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God?"

But then Jesus proceeds to make a divine proclamation, "What is impossible with men is possible with God!"

God's Word never fails; the impossible are coming to pass today.

My friend forwarded me a link to Outlook India magazine, an article written by the editor of Outlook Business, Anand Mahadevan.

An amazing testimony indeed. I believe this is the kind of worshipers that God is looking for, people fervently seeking a relationship with God and not a religious identity. I don't want to copy paste the article here, because the effect of reading it in the midst of other national and international news is truly mind blowing and I don't want you to miss it.

I, The Convert : My conversion was not a change of religion but a change of heart - Anand Mahadevan

Jesus commands my Destiny....

I heard this song for the first time only today, but it has become my favorite. I chose a simple video from youtube, so that you could get it quickly loaded on your browser. It truly takes an annointed writer to write this kind of a song.

God bless you Keith and Townend.

The Disobedient teacher

I'm in one of those particular bad-mood day today, for one reason things did not happen as I planned or the other could be some weird hormonal imbalance. I wanted to start writing ths entry without making this proclamation but my creative juice refuses to flow without blurting out the truth.I'm kinda famous for getting into mood swings, When I'm in one of those I care a least about what others think and I just misbehave like a spoilt kid.

While I retrospect my previous experiences I remember one very particular time where my Master taught me a valuable lesson.

I was heading to Scripture Class from my home, my sister and I usually walk our way to church which would take us about 10 minutes. We start by 10:50 so that we can reach by 11:00 which is when the second service of our church gets over. After this, scripture class begins.I happen to teach Grade 5 children and there are 10 children in my class.

This particular day, I started kinda late from home (i.e. around 11:00) which was purely my fault. My sister started walking with me, she had a bad cold that day and was walking really slowly. I am a kind who walks really really fast, my sister is a snail, to top that she had a bad cold that day, she was dead slow. The more she sneezed the more I got angry, I screamed at her for being disobedient and sneaking into the kitchen for chocolates from the fridge when others were asleep. I can tell you that she has a great appetite for chcolates, she can finish 5 bars of chocolates at a time.

I stopped at the middle of the road and shouted, "Just start walking back home, I don't want a fussy running nose to church".Well aware of her sister's unpredictable moods, she stayed silent and said, "I'll come, you walk ahead". But seeing that she was really slow behind me, I kept grumbling about her even more. That was when I heard the little voice of my Master in my heart "Callie.. you are just about to teach little children about Me, about My gentleness, about My patience, with this kind of temper, you cannot carry my Word to them, control your temper."

I argued with my Master, ignoring His gentle stir, and continued scolding my sister, when she could bear it no longer, she started crying and started walking fast irritatedly. My Master had to resort to Plan B.I walked a few steps and phew!! I hit a little rock and my slipper's strap ripped off!!! Bang!!, this time I felt the hand of my Master spanking me, my crying sister was many metres ahead me. I was dragging myself with the torn slipper really very slowly and crawled my way to the church. I was late by 5 minutes.

Throughout my ordeal under the scorching sun while I was inching my way to church, I didn't hear a voice from my Master instead I was telling Him, "Thank-you God for this lesson!! You love your little ones in Scripture Class very much, so you would'nt allow a disobedient teacher teaching them"."Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty."[Job 5:17]

After the opening prayer, this was the first story I narrated to them before I could tell them how Jesus healed the sick woman, and the daughter of Jairus.

I walked back home with a group of laughing children and a surprised sneezing sister, only that she was kind enough not to leave me behind as I could in no way walk in conformance with her speed now.

61 Summers after Independance

I wanted to write an entry on the 61st Indian Independance Day, but me not being a die-hard patriot I just could'nt think about what to write, All I did was to pray for the country God put me in.

I've been reading a book called "Games Indians play by V.Raghunathan". I am alomost at the end of it, There's a little something in the book, that I thought would be appropriate to put up here because it conveys all my thoughts about the great Indian country entirely. I'd like thank Mr.V Raghunathandoesn't for contributing his intellectual and real insights through his book.

So here it is, which was supposed to be here on 15th August..Better late than never!!

If we can launch rockets but get nowhere
Fire missiles, but not our passions to excel,
Build aircraft but cannot fly our dreams;
If we can build oil rigs, cyclotrons and atomic plants,
But not our character,

Make heavy machinery and earth moving equipment,
Yet not move heaven and earth to improve our fate;
If we can grow enough grain, but not care enough to store them,
Allow half our population to go hungry, with malnutrition and ill health still our national visage;

If our population is well over a billion, and
Still doubling over thirty five years, what we innocently call our leadership
Turns family planning into a bad phrase;

If 400 million and more are still strangers to basic essentials in life
An equal number effectively illiterate and
A girl child still an object of rejection;
If our water table is beginning to get lower than oil,
Our rivulets and canals get desiccated,
Our seas, river, brooks saturated with refuse and effluents;

If open sewage in our midst froths pink, blue and green,
With such blatant chemical pollution a rule rather than exception and
Our reaction to these sights as best phlegmatic;

If half of our country still performs its morning ablutions under the open skies and
We are blissful being the world’s largest open-air lavatory, with basic hygiene and human dignity nobody’s concern;

If elephants and rhinos, leopards and tiger are fast disappearing,
Our mountains turning naked and barren with denudation,
Forests disappearing rapidly under the onslaught of deforestation;

If cows, donkeys, horses, even camels can roam the busiest of streets,
With us incapable of arriving at a collective solution to the problem and
In the name of compassion, subject the poor animals to the worst indignities;

If our national monuments are in a state of abject neglect,
Even a Taj Mahal stands upon a pile of a town’s refuse and indifference with Tourism a mere caricature of its potential;

If our public transport is perennially choking,
Our hospital lobbies resemble railway platforms and
Our cities, towns and villages a vast compost heap;

If our railway stations and drainage pipes are dwellings to zillions,
Sidewalks, if there, unavailable to pedestrian, and
Our traffic signals obeyed in infraction than compliance;

If our children are interviewed and waitlisted for nursery admission,
A class XII child with 90 percent cannot make it to the nearest college and
IITs, et al. brimming with 2, 00,000 applications and more for a handful of seats;

If we have to bribe a babu to pay our land taxes, and
We can get a ‘RTO license to kill’’ without
a driving test with
Corruption in a government department a rule not exception
If our bureaucracy is not a service but a power centre;
And a system so corrupt that
85 per cent leakage in intended fundings nationally acceptable, with
Local administrations in cities, towns and villages a mere parody;

If a weak rupee is our best ticket to exports,
Quality, scale and punctuality at best secondary concerns, and
Basic R&D still beyond the horizon;
If it takes three to mow a lawn, and we still
Erect buildings loading bricks on the heads of your women,
With Our pace of change and productivity long the slowest and lowest in the world;

If petitions are piled sky-high in every court
of the land, with
Justice nearly impossible to find in one’s lifetime (if then), and
Our dehumanized jails overflowing even as crime rates continue to soar;
IF shanghai alone surpasses Indian’s total exports three times over, and
India’s total port capacity by about the same margin, and India’s total foreign direct investment over ten times;

If, as a people, we have lost our sensitivity to the misery and mediocrity around us, and
The only value system we can pass on to the next generation is that of
Cynicism, opportunism and corruption;

If our standards of satisfaction and excellence lie lower
than the soles of our feet and
We are not filled with a sense of shame
At the gap between our rightful place in the world and the present one;

Surely it’s time to introspect collectively?

I guess this is why I prayed for my country on Independance day instead of singing praise for my nation.

Am I carrying my Cross?

A new spree of attacks on the Christians in the already blood smeared Orissa started on August 24th 2008. Tensions were always there in the place, with Swami Lakshmanananda, the religious guru, who worked for the uplifting of the people but wanted to tuck them safely inside Hinduism. He vehemently opposed Christian Mission works, quoting what he said "I will work till I chase away every Christian who wants to make this land , a Christian land." He was killed on the night of 23rd August by Maoist rebels. The only reason remaining to spark the beginning of a fresh uproar of violence.

There is also an ethnic conflict that exists beneath the iceberg.The fight for ST status for the dalit Pano Christians. If you are eager to be a more informed Christian then visit the links at the end of the post for more insight.

I really didn't know how to start writing this post. I spent a week getting angry and forwarding prayer mails, another few days narrating stories of horror and violence to everyone, another few days asking God questions, another few days goggling up stories and videos on Orissa and another few days praying. All throughout I badly wanted to sit down and put everything that came to my heart on the blog.

I am still clueless about what to write. God has all the answers but the truth is that I can't find the right questions to ask Him.Neither am I matured enough to talk about what we must do in these times of persecution.

So I decide that I am not going to write about the persecution, or about the bodies burning nor about the many who have only the forests left to call as their homes, nor about the girls being raped,nor the hundreds who are being forced to reconvert with the knife ready to sling open their throats, neither about the many who have no hope, no future for the next conceivable days of their life.

I am an ordinary happy Christian girl whose maximum crisis could be a flunked exam, or a bad day at college.I've not witnessed a real accident, or even a fire breakout. I don't know what it feels like, to lose my family,my friends, my house or my church.So I was wondering if it was practically possible for me to empathize with the persecuted in Orissa, or am I just a victim to a sudden burst of emotion?

As I started looking deeper , God showed me a scripture, “If any of you wants to be my follower,” he told them, “you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me." (Mark 8:34 [NLT])

What's this cross that Jesus is asking me to bear? I thought of various things, but all of them led to only thing -"death". Afcourse victory through death, triumph of Jesus, salvation of soul..but ultimately the common denominator is "death". Death of what??Jesus was telling me, "You can't follow me just as you are,only if you carry the corpse of your identity (the cross) can you follow me."

I understood, that God has placed many blessings in my life only as resources to reach out, instead I was using them to carve an identity for myself. Anything that happened outside my identity did not affect me much.That's why I found it hard to empathize with the pain and suffering of my brothers and sisters in Orissa. That's why it didn't come to me naturally.

I've been a Christian for 7 years now, but I need to find if the 'I' in me is really dead.

I've been trying to follow Jesus, for my good, focussing God on myself, instead of focussing everything I have on God. The essential factor of Christianity is giving up yourself, but my version of Christianity is for me to become fatter. With this kind of attitude I can never really 'know God', 'love God' or 'live for God'.

"If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will find true life."[Mark 8:35-NLT]

When my 'I' dies, then it's no longer what "I want", what "I feel", or what "I think", it becomes, what "God wants", what "God feels", and what "God thinks". When this happens, everything that hurts the body of Christ will hurt me, the burden of the heart of Christ will become my burden, and His longing will become my longing.

I read a quote made by a pastor "Christianity will spread not by killing for Christ,but by dying with Christ so that others might live."*

Killing my identity is going to be painful, but I need to inflict personal pain for the sake of corporate good, following the model of the cross is an inseparable part of my Christian experience.

Peter could handle Jesus being the Messiah. But he rejected the Messiah’s destiny of going to the cross. Why? Because Peter was worried that he might have to follow Jesus to the cross. That was why Jesus spoke also of the cross his disciples would have to bear (8:34). In not accepting all of Jesus’ gospel, his followers were in danger of keeping him at a distance and not listening to or understanding him**.

I wear a cross as a pendant, I feel proud when I wear it. Every time I look at it, I used to say to myself "I am the child of GOD" But now when I look at my pendant, I ask myself "Am I carrying my cross or walking without it and calling myself a child of God?"

Pray for our brothers and sisters in Orissa.

*Graduation Moments

**ILumina Concise Commentary

Dalit-Tribal rivalry

The Burning Issue

Celebrating my DaD(s)!!

I would have been a very different person without the Master in my life. My entire life would have taken disastrous turn if not for the Master. Because of the influence He has on my life, I am what I am today. Now, my life revolves around "Knowing God, Loving God and Living for God".“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”(I Corinthians 2:9)

For any relationship, the first step is the "Getting to know time", and it is my experience that any relationship will be a cakewalk, if we put some effort on this stage. It's the same with God, we sometimes tend to concentrate more on "loving"God without actually getting to know Him, His nature and His heart. That could be the reasons why we sometime land up frustrated. "And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is."(Ephesians 3:18)

Its my dad's birthday today and I thank God for him.

Though we are one family, we are separate individuals in the sight of God. I believe God put us together because we had abilities that would complement each other to fulfil each other's destiny during our lifetime."Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ"(Ephesians 4:12)

I don't know how I help fulfil my mum's, and dad's and sister's destiny, but I definitely know the role each one plays to fulfil mine.

My dad.... it is definitely the opportunities and the provisions that he has provided that made me reach this far. But restricting my dad's role in my life to just a provider would be a terrible mistake.

I could understand a lot about God himself through my dad. My dad has prototyped many of His qualities in his life. Getting to know my dad, helped me to know my Master better. Those of you guys reading, may think that this is just a birthday-flatter-blog-entry. Just hold on..this is not what you think!!

My dad's favourite phrase "I don't want to be an average father", when this rings through my ear; God says, "You see that!! that's how I AM". Just like my Father Lord, my dad does a lot of things to prove that He's not an average father. God led me through lot of struggles so that He can break the strongholds of my life, my dad too teaches tough lessons so that I can break free from my cocoon.

Sometimes I feel I've achieved a lot and I got to God, and I don't hear anything like a pat on my back instead; God says "Hey!! you can do better than that", my dad's the same; never really comes out with appreciation until he's sure that I've used my entire potential. Does this discourage me, not at all it encourages me to do better.

My Master has very high standards, he has disciplined me many times through His Word and circumstances in my life pressurizing me to keep the standard and not slip away. My dad too is very fussy about quality never allowing us to compromise in any way.

God never makes decisions for me. In spite of His infinite wisdom, He gives me a chance. This is what we call "Free Will". He is God, yet he respects my individuality and allows me to have my choice. He does not choose for me and make me a slave but teaches me to how to choose and stands beside to see His lessons work. My dad too never compels me into his way, but taught me to be in the right by myself. "The paths of the Lord are true and right, and righteous people live by walking in them"(Hosea 14:9)

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father"(John 14:12) . This is a hard thing to say; but Jesus makes that declaration very easily. Because that's the plan for us in His mind, to see us do greater things than Himself. My dad too is always talking about how I should do better than him and reach higher heights. That is an attribute which only fathers have.

My Father is the Holy of Holies, All Pervading Powerful God, but there He goes; playing with me, caressing me, hugging me and reassuring me in His presence. One day in college I was dreaming about cornetto ice-cream; I badly wanted to eat this ice-cream.I returned home really very tired , and opened the fridge (A part of my daily routine!!) . I was shocked, surprised that I literally bounced off the floor. My favourite praline flavoured cornetto stood there begging me to pick it up. "By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me"(Psalm 42:8)

My dad too is very creative in developing new ways to cuddle me up and pamper me. He calls me funny names, brushes my head with a kiss whenever he is around, affectionately strokes my head when I am working late hours at night, massages my legs when I am asleep. All of this is his way of telling, "you are my most precious possession".

My God-who created the entire universe from vacuum, does not require me to share His heart. He can execute all His plans by Himself, but He chooses to do it through me. He talks to me from His Word about His vision for the dying World and calls me to be a part of His kingdom building business.The King of Majesty is humble enough to share His thoughts and feelings with an ordinary inadequate girl like me."I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last."(John 15:15-16)

I have brainstorming sessions with my dad, he shares his ideas, his strategies. He discusses with me as if I was a very important decision maker. This makes me feel important and intrigues me to step into an entirely different sphere of life. This kind of communication is the key to our relationship.

My dad helps me understand the nature of My Father , our spiritual conversations hardly last for a few minutes, but the lessons I've learnt about God from him are worth more than many hours of talk."For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power."(I Corinthians 4:20)

In this way, this man, born on this day who became my father by God's perfect plan to fulfil my destiny.

Wait a sec!!! Though he is my dad; he is simply God's child, and together we are learning about God and getting to understand Him better....