How to have an Unhappy Marriage?

Who wants a boring happy marriage where the house is peaceful and the kids are good-natured. In today’s ‘practical’ world; it’s all about having a fast paced, action-drama packed, dysfunctional family.  And it all starts from an unhappy marriage.

I GUARANTEE that if you follow these even to the slightest degree, you are definitely successful on your way to an UNHAPPY MARRIAGE!

Read on…

BadMouth the inlaws

To make sure that your partner is harboring unhappy feelings about you, ensure to say as many spiteful things about your spouse’s parents and siblings.  Blow up every small thing like your mother-in-law’s random comment, your father-in-law’s choosy habits, or your brother-in-law’s nosy wife. They dare not make you feel uncomfortable in any way; life is all about you and you alone. So make sure to pick an argument every time you get a chance. You and your spouse are bound to be unhappy if you are consistent in having hatred-filled conversations about your in-laws.

Don’t say the golden words

Remember they taught us in kindergarten to say Please, Thank-you and Sorry. And corporate taught us to fill emails with meaningless ‘Take Care’ suffixes to colleagues and bosses.

Using these words on your spouse will greatly increase your chances of having a happy marriage. So don’ take a risk. These words, even if they are faked have the power to invoke pleasant feelings. 

You don’t have to thank your wife for her burnt offerings, and why care about the many other chores she has to do, despite working at a full time job.

You don’t have to appreciate your husband for offering to take care for the kid, it’s his kid too, and after all he only has the capacity to do a sloppy job, so why take the effort to say it. Your spouse needs to understand that you are only human and can forget to accommodate his/her interests in your schedule; you don’t have to feel sorry about it at all. Make mistakes and feel no regret, and you are sure to make your marriage bitter.  

Don’t do stuff together

He likes to watch a lame game, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to accompany him. Why should you increase the chances of getting his unnecessary help when you do the chores?

When couples do stuff together, even routine things like watching TV, cleaning the house, washing the car, listening to music, or decorating the house, solid intimacy abounds within, so Be on your Guard!  Stay firm that you will do things that only interest you, and don’t bother to take the effort to give your spouse some company. Because, investing your time (though it bores you) on your spouse can reap returns. You sure don’t want that to happen, stay selfish and stay comfortably unhappy.

Be Dull and Boring

In other words, don’t ever think of creative ways to spice up your relationship. Serve the same breakfast, wear the same looks, say the same mean stuff, and Religiously follow Routine. Creativity is only meant for work, not for your spouse.

Doing new stuff like maybe randomly cooking something special or messaging a cute one-liner, or doing a scrapbook, setting up a geeky gift, an unplanned long drive, or just making your spouse feel special is a Strict NO-NO if you want to be unhappy.

Creativity has the power keep love fresh, and closeness intact. So if you are getting a feeling that life is becoming a drag, take a break and go spend some time with your friends, don’t waste energy, time, money or precious thinking bandwidth to figure out how to spend time creatively with your spouse. Stick to Monotony and you can confidently stay unhappy.

Sans Prayer and Devotion

Prayer is the breeding ground of love, mutual understanding and a strong happy marriage. The power of prayer connects the couple to the ultimate Source of Love, guaranteeing no lack in love. Being a poor lover is the foundation for an unhappy marriage, don’t pray together and you will definitely be a loser in love.

God’s Word has the blueprint of how husband and wife must conduct themselves in marriage. If you read it, internalize it and practice it, your marriage life will thrive within the boundaries of God’s plan, and you will for sure ruin your chances of making your marriage unhappy. Minus the prayer, trash bible reading and you will forever be unhappy.

Let the Money rule

God created Adam and Eve to have dominion over all the things that he created. But their desire for the forbidden made them slaves, now they had to toil and labor to eat and procreate.

If you are lucky to allow it, you can be lucky enough to mimic the same pattern today too. A marriage where contentment is central, is happy and God seeking. On the contrary, a marriage where love of money is the foundation and greed is permitted makes way for numerous fights, arguments, contempt and disrespect.

Let the value you attribute to your spouse be proportional to the value of the paycheck that your spouse brings. Asses the worth of your partner by the price tag of the gifts he/she buys you. Choose money over the smile on your spouse's face, and let currency bring you more pleasure than your mate.

Let money rule, and you can happy proof your marriage.

Now that I have told you how to be unhappy, if you want to be a part of the smaller population that raves in love, bound in deep commitment and works together in partnership; supporting, cooperating and carrying each other, moving forward each moment towards an eternal destination; Just do the Opposite. "The truth is unhappy marriages are easier to maintain, it requires less time, energy and emotional dexterity." [A quote from the web]

Learning to fall in love perpetually,

Callie

How to get Help?

"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;  I will help you." -Isaiah 41:13

‘Help’ is a beautiful word, studying its definition can give us some really good insights.

• Providing you with resources, strength and the means to accomplish the task.
• Rescue you when you are failing. 
•  To facilitate you to achieve easier.
•  To make things work for your advantage.

When I’m working on my pc, I get stuck in a problem, I ping my nerdy colleague on instant communicator, he asks me to share my desktop screen, give him control, and BAM he fixes it and says ‘done..Feels Relieved!

I talk to a friend, a well wisher, someone been in the same place before me, they hear, and they say, “Don’t be anxious, it’ll all be alright”. Feels Positive!

At the end of a day before unwinding to bed, I’m complaining, lamenting and articulating my fears to my husband. He listens to it all, and takes me in his reassuring arms. Feels Comforting!

While I am really grateful to each person who adds so much peace and happiness to my life, there are moments in life when I’m desperate for something More.

I need more than relief, positivity and comfort. I need specific help, I need varied help, I need physical help, I need emotional help, I need intellectual help, and so much more that I can’t realize at this point.

I need more that just a magic wand to dispel my problems, rather, I need Someone who will Empower me, Encourage me and Embrace me to go to the next level. And that is why we have a God who promises to take hold of our right hand and help you. 

Only the Help of God can come to us in all dimensions, and is completely enough to take care of everything. 

It is interesting to note the background in which this verse was written. In order to release the Jews from Babylonian captivity, God raises an unnamed conqueror who would capture Babylon and help give freedom to the Jews. God worked in the international political scene to bring favor on His people. 

God shapes world events and directs human affairs to help you. Can we receive a higher form of help?

 

You are probably sitting at your workstation, afraid of the tasks in front of you, or maybe hoping that folks at your workplace will recognize your potential. Maybe you are all set on a new venture, you want to climb up the stairs, you don’t see the whole staircase, and you are trembling in fear to take the first step of faith.

So many things you are afraid of, frustrated about, confused and worried. Not because you don’t have faith, there is a tinge of faith amidst all the fears; but you can’t seem to control the overpowering emotions raging against your heart.

If you are this, God says to you, For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;  I will help you. 

God could have just said, “I will help you”, but He goes on to say, “I will take hold of your right hand..I will help you”. By saying this, I believe that He means that He is going to work with you, as a partner, hand in hand, in an alliance. 

Holding your hand is a sign that He wants to make a connection to you, the Help that we receive from our God is not like the impersonal donations we make to the hungry children in Somalia, we just make a donation, we don’t make a connection. Rather, God’s help in our life is realized by personal contact with the Creator himself. He connects with us and He contributes to us. 

As I write this, I’m dealing with a minor crisis in my own life. I’m at cross roads in my career and I’m nervous about my future. I keep looking at the past and looking at those around me; consequently I become even more fearful. That is why I took to meditate on this verse. So, what I write here is definitely for me as well.  

To receive God’s help, you have to let Him hold your hand. God will help you by connecting to you. So it is important to work on the things that help a seamless connection.

Stand by Faith

One thing that amazes God is Faith; let your faith defy logic. Do not entertain grumble and complain. A catalyst to make Faith grow is a heart of gratitude. Fill your heart with thanks, and see your life glow with faith.

 Hear from the Scripture

Read Read and Read God’s Word. Re-read, Memorize, Meditate, Write, and just saturate your mind with God’s Word. He will speak to you. (Period) 

Communicate through Prayer 

Don’t Talk to God like you fell out of heaven, don’t resort to empty confessions, don’t ask people to pray on your behalf, don’t run around to prayer-prophesy meetings. Just Talk to God, as you would talk to someone looking at your face and listening intently to your words. If you can’t articulate words to express your need, let the tears fall, He knows what they mean. “When I kneel in prayer and with You my Lord, I commune as friend with friend”. Let this be your prayer mantra.

I think that’s all we need to make a connection. Let Him hold your Hand and you will experience His Help, Don’t be afraid.

Waiting for His Help,

Callie