How to have an Unhappy Marriage?

Who wants a boring happy marriage where the house is peaceful and the kids are good-natured. In today’s ‘practical’ world; it’s all about having a fast paced, action-drama packed, dysfunctional family.  And it all starts from an unhappy marriage.

I GUARANTEE that if you follow these even to the slightest degree, you are definitely successful on your way to an UNHAPPY MARRIAGE!

Read on…

BadMouth the inlaws

To make sure that your partner is harboring unhappy feelings about you, ensure to say as many spiteful things about your spouse’s parents and siblings.  Blow up every small thing like your mother-in-law’s random comment, your father-in-law’s choosy habits, or your brother-in-law’s nosy wife. They dare not make you feel uncomfortable in any way; life is all about you and you alone. So make sure to pick an argument every time you get a chance. You and your spouse are bound to be unhappy if you are consistent in having hatred-filled conversations about your in-laws.

Don’t say the golden words

Remember they taught us in kindergarten to say Please, Thank-you and Sorry. And corporate taught us to fill emails with meaningless ‘Take Care’ suffixes to colleagues and bosses.

Using these words on your spouse will greatly increase your chances of having a happy marriage. So don’ take a risk. These words, even if they are faked have the power to invoke pleasant feelings. 

You don’t have to thank your wife for her burnt offerings, and why care about the many other chores she has to do, despite working at a full time job.

You don’t have to appreciate your husband for offering to take care for the kid, it’s his kid too, and after all he only has the capacity to do a sloppy job, so why take the effort to say it. Your spouse needs to understand that you are only human and can forget to accommodate his/her interests in your schedule; you don’t have to feel sorry about it at all. Make mistakes and feel no regret, and you are sure to make your marriage bitter.  

Don’t do stuff together

He likes to watch a lame game, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to accompany him. Why should you increase the chances of getting his unnecessary help when you do the chores?

When couples do stuff together, even routine things like watching TV, cleaning the house, washing the car, listening to music, or decorating the house, solid intimacy abounds within, so Be on your Guard!  Stay firm that you will do things that only interest you, and don’t bother to take the effort to give your spouse some company. Because, investing your time (though it bores you) on your spouse can reap returns. You sure don’t want that to happen, stay selfish and stay comfortably unhappy.

Be Dull and Boring

In other words, don’t ever think of creative ways to spice up your relationship. Serve the same breakfast, wear the same looks, say the same mean stuff, and Religiously follow Routine. Creativity is only meant for work, not for your spouse.

Doing new stuff like maybe randomly cooking something special or messaging a cute one-liner, or doing a scrapbook, setting up a geeky gift, an unplanned long drive, or just making your spouse feel special is a Strict NO-NO if you want to be unhappy.

Creativity has the power keep love fresh, and closeness intact. So if you are getting a feeling that life is becoming a drag, take a break and go spend some time with your friends, don’t waste energy, time, money or precious thinking bandwidth to figure out how to spend time creatively with your spouse. Stick to Monotony and you can confidently stay unhappy.

Sans Prayer and Devotion

Prayer is the breeding ground of love, mutual understanding and a strong happy marriage. The power of prayer connects the couple to the ultimate Source of Love, guaranteeing no lack in love. Being a poor lover is the foundation for an unhappy marriage, don’t pray together and you will definitely be a loser in love.

God’s Word has the blueprint of how husband and wife must conduct themselves in marriage. If you read it, internalize it and practice it, your marriage life will thrive within the boundaries of God’s plan, and you will for sure ruin your chances of making your marriage unhappy. Minus the prayer, trash bible reading and you will forever be unhappy.

Let the Money rule

God created Adam and Eve to have dominion over all the things that he created. But their desire for the forbidden made them slaves, now they had to toil and labor to eat and procreate.

If you are lucky to allow it, you can be lucky enough to mimic the same pattern today too. A marriage where contentment is central, is happy and God seeking. On the contrary, a marriage where love of money is the foundation and greed is permitted makes way for numerous fights, arguments, contempt and disrespect.

Let the value you attribute to your spouse be proportional to the value of the paycheck that your spouse brings. Asses the worth of your partner by the price tag of the gifts he/she buys you. Choose money over the smile on your spouse's face, and let currency bring you more pleasure than your mate.

Let money rule, and you can happy proof your marriage.

Now that I have told you how to be unhappy, if you want to be a part of the smaller population that raves in love, bound in deep commitment and works together in partnership; supporting, cooperating and carrying each other, moving forward each moment towards an eternal destination; Just do the Opposite. "The truth is unhappy marriages are easier to maintain, it requires less time, energy and emotional dexterity." [A quote from the web]

Learning to fall in love perpetually,

Callie