For many reasons, 2014 was not a
productive year to me.
I took a break from my full time
job in March, with plans to do loads of things but with very little result.
This is was my Facebook post that
day!
Let me analyse
#1 Contribute for a start-up
Not really, actually I did
nothing, except give myself a title. :P
#2 Lovely long trysts with
writing
(Oh my Gosh what was I thinking
when I wrote that) I didn’t write a single post, just a few ‘long’
status-updates on facebook to fish for ‘likes’!
#3 Servant at church
That is complicated to measure.
I did some work, but that does not count being
servant in Christ’s dictionary. In fact, I actually felt a strong desire to be a
popular- leader, recognized speaker, and a sought after Pastor’s wife. That is
no way close to being ‘servant’.
#4 Better parent
Hmm… my Junior has got to appraise
me for that, Or maybe her other parent. I did all my parenting chores, read
some toddler material, memorized Scripture with her and tried to prepare
almost-delicious meals.
However, I have been unreasonably
angry and selfish with her many times. I read a beautiful quote called, “Being
a mother is a Holy Privilege”. I tried to live my life true to this mantra. Nevertheless,
it did not work well.
#5 24x7 Suitable Helper
Wow wow wow!! that is one great-sounding goal. But, I think,
I was more a 24x7 you-need-to-do-this/this-is-not-good-enough/ nagger, than
being a 24x7 helper.
That is how disappointing this
year went by.
To add further, is my failed Bible studying and general reading
goals, my poor attempts to be an early bird, a healthy cook, an organized
home-keeper and a four-wheel driver.
The decreasing respect for human
values and human life itself depressed me entirely. Rape of minors, massacred
children, disappearing planes, ethno-religious warfare, beheading videos,
divisive politics and vain materialism. Nothing really left to be hopeful
about.
Despite all my failed attempts
and morbid introspections, I still have a peace beyond all understanding, peace
about my decisions, my position and my future.
I was once trying to
put my little one to sleep on my lap, told her stories, sang songs,lullabies,
and was now in the mode of, "You BETTER GO TO SLEEP!!!".
Her father came into
the room and lied down beside her, saying nothing and doing nothing.
Immediately, she came down from my lap, climbed up on her father, laid her head
near his chest, and went to deep sleep in few minutes. No singing, no cajoling,
no rocking, no storytelling. But sound sleep.
This
girl taught me one great lesson. Run to the Father's bosom to find rest that no
thing or no one can give you.
"Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28
I did not get a chance to be a
go-getter this year, but He helped me remain a giver, get stronger, see clearer
and filled my heart with loads of hope that I’ll move further in this New Year.
“When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way.” – Psalm 142:3
Christians
are persecuted for their faith in different parts of the world today. North
Indian missionaries are mistreated and abused because the Hindu Fundamentalists
do not quite understand the intention behind why we propagate the Gospel. It
tears the heart to hear stories of preachers being stamped to death, RSS mobs
threatening pastors and churches being burnt.
I am
reminded of a story,
“A young A.W. Tozer was visiting an elderly saint who was on her death bed and he struggled with just the right thing to say. The godly woman realized the young preacher's struggle and intervened by saying ,"Don't worry young man, I am about to cross a river but my Father owns the land on both sides."
Whatever maybe your disappointments this year, move forward to 2015 with
a hope, excitement and faith. ‘
He is Lord over all.
Callie
