My Maker as my mother

"As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you" Isaiah 66:13

This is one the most loved scriptures of all times.It is my favorite too.

You know why?

Because I started identifying a meaningful relationship with God only when I began seeing Him as my mother.

I gave myself to Jesus Christ when I was 13, at that time my only confidant was my mom. I've told her many times, "I have only one parent and that is daddy, you are my friend." I don't know if she remembers but I've even done crazy things like even giving her friendship bands. I can actually count the number of times I actually call her "amma" or "mummy" because the other times, it is just a "hey!", "You girl!!", and other wierdo names, which if I mention will really ruin my reputation :-)

I realized how emotionally dependent I was on her only when I went to be on my own for pursuing higher education.

I missed her when I sat to study, I missed the 'ishing' sound that her slippers made when she walks around. I missed her hyper tension when she begins to lose a spat with my dad.I missed the mummy smell that came only on her. I missed the way that she would listen to my silliest joke and have a hearty laugh.

I missed the way she would be curious to know a gossip that I just finished on phone with a friend.I missed the way she'd patiently listen to my new 'findings' and 'bible studies'.I missed the way she would be bothered about the tiniest pain that came on my toe.I missed the way she'll spend all the Christmas money on our clothes and accessories and get herself something real cheap.

I missed everything about her.

But now when I look back, I think that the greatest force that got me and my Master real close was this 'missing her' syndrome that took over me during those times.Since I could think of no one who could fill that place when she was not around, I started seeking and longing more for God. I'd run to Him everyday after school to tell him every single thing that happened.

When I'd have the runs of insomnia I'd place my head on the floor and believe that I'm placed my head on His lap and see with the eyes of faith His mighty hands stroking my head within moments I'd sleep like a baby. Because mom was not around, I learnt to fight with Him, (hehe!!) call Him names and every other crazy thing that I did with my mother, now was with my God.

And you know what,I discovered that my God is a great mother.He taught me things that people often say only "mothers" can teach, the girlish stuff I mean. I had been a real wimp for a long time, He taught me that my tears were precious and I should not be wasting it for every exaggerated teenage melodrama.He made me a strong person at heart and in the mind."... I will strengthen you, I will help you,I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I am 21 years now, my relationship with my mom has not changed.Only one difference, I am now completely dependent only on my God - "mother". And my mom has been an instrument for implementing this change in my life.

She thinks that she is a no-good ordinary person. But my Master left all the intelligent and brilliant ones and picked her up to rear and upbring a whole generation that will now honor and glorify only Him."...God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong" 1 Corinthians 1:27

Above any other achievement, this is the greatest privilege for any woman.

My Jericho called Time Management

(I deleted this post earlier, because I thought it was irrelevant to "My Master's Voice", but then daddy thought it was good so here it is again!!!)

Exams round the corner.The worst time of the year. The only time of the year when I get to see the wee hours of the morning and I wont deny that, it is during these times, there is a lot of strain on my prayer life and Bible reading too.

With a lot of work piled up ahead of me and loads and loads of stuff that I have to stuff into my brain.I resort to fast food for my spiritual diet. A quick prayer for "wisdom", and skimming up a few verses, at the end of this season , my inner person reduces to zero size.

So how do I break free and give to God what belongs to Him and give to Caesar his share as well?

The key is......Time Management

I read in a book , "Time management is Life Management", and I think that, that is completely true. I've missed on many opportunities for serving God because of my bad time management, and sometimes I feel I've given God Cain's offering when I do things in a haphazard manner in the nick of time.

So I decided to do some serious thinking.

Grrr!!! why on earth do I not have enough time?????

I followed the 80/20 rule, 80% of my time was being spent by 20% of the trivial things,and therefore I did not have quality time for the remaining things that really mattered the most in my life.

Pro..Pro...cras..tin..a..tion

When I am going through a bad phase..my dad always says, "you've eaten the live frog now...nothing else can be worse than this". I need to apply this philosophy while I am juggling time as well. When a set of tasks are presented before me, I should pick up the toughest one, and the one I hate the most to start with. Because if I am going to delay that, I will never set my hands on it.

Practice...Practice...Practice...

Old habits die hard, and good habits are born hard.Beware!!! time management is not an art that I can afford to miss. It is an absolute essential like food or water. The quality of my life will improve only if I put my heart and soul to practice it.

I just hope and pray that I'd manage time properly this time so that I'd do my exams really well, and also not miss out on hearing my Master's Voice!!

A random thought..

(This post was supposed to be here on August, but I started typing it in an angry fit of emotions, so I decided not to post it...things have cooled down and now when I read it..I think it is ok for it to be here..It has got nothing to do with the Master's voice..just a random thought!!)

There's one thing that no one would ever say "No thank you", is genuine encouragement. This is something that is really hard to get, especially when you're in desperate need for it. Sometimes you really need someone to say, "Go for it","You can do it", "I trust you man". Unfortunately, we hardly get to hear them.

Sometimes people don't really discourage us with negative comments, but when we adore someone and expect a word of encouragement from them and nothing comes from their mouth, that is very discouraging by itself.

Criticism is not discouragement and I beg to differ with anyone who thinks so, I love it when people criticize me, that's because I know that such people have taken the effort and gone the extra mile to analyse my work. My criticizers are those who know my potential and are not satisfied with all my achievements until I reach my limit.

I thank God for my father, my greatest critic. If my dad says it good, then I don't look for a second opinion. He's never really patted my back and said, "You're really good at this, wonderful work!!". Instead he says, "Its no surprise for me, but you still have a long way to go". This keeps me going. I remember the times I really messed up my life, my critic father was at that time the greatest motivator. He asked me to learn and move forward.

My sister on the other hand is a great encourager, many years younger to me but she sometimes she talks like a sage. I would have missed many opportunities  if she was not there by my side to tell me, "Stop thinking and just GO FOR IT"!!

What I want to convey through this post is this; there are some who don't say anything at all. Those in the 'silence ministry'. If there's anyone who've discouraged me, it was those who belong to this category.They really don't speak out and you spend half you're life wondering what they're thinking.Maybe I'm not matured enough to understand what their intentions are, but as of now I just feel that such people are the lazy ones. 

They are the ones who cannot inspire other lives either by their work, or their words. They don't really help build lives.They just linger around, snooping at others' work and wonder why they are not doing anything. 

I believe that an encourager builds others as well as fishes opportunities to edify himself. Just encourage a person around you, and the next time when you look at the person he'll show that big smile on his face that will make your day.You'll also become the confidant of the person. 

I don't know about you, but if someone trusts me and says that out, that's my greatest compliment.

Finally...

I put a post-it note on my desk that shouted "Work on LHC" on September 10th. It sure was an ugly frog, so I was delaying it.It is the 26th of October today, and more than a month since the LHC was shut down(19th September) due to a serious fault.

So I think, it is high time I got my hands dirty with this work.The reason I was procrastinating  it was because, I am an average student of physics and understanding this stuff requires some physics brain. But some of my readers will be familiar with my philosophy,"Better late than Never :-)"

But first, I need to tell you that we all are greatly indebted to the internet, and especially resources like Wikipedia, Howstuffworks, and thousands of other free projects that participate in knowledge sharing.If not for them , no way could anyone, except for the intellectually elite have any idea about the complicated world of Science and Research.

So I'll work on this in two parts. In one part, I'll show off how much I've learnt and in the other I'll share some ordinary insights!!

Wish me luck!!

My Promise

When I begin to write this post, I am as expectant as you, because I have no clue about what I am going to write.I don't intend to write a whiny post but forgive me if it turns into one.

I never really understood the influence my sinful nature had on my life until recently."I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate."[Romans 7:15]

I considered myself to be a born-again, Christian who reads the bible and prays fairly regularly, and tries hard to obey my Master voice in every situation. I always thought that my life was only influenced by the ways of the Master.

But recently when I was confronted with a few situations I realized how hard it was for me to actually obey the Master. I loved God and and all that but the unfortunate truth was that my sinful nature still had a dominion over me in certain areas of my life."For sin shall not be your master..."[Romans 6:13].This illumination made me really depressed and discouraged.

Everything I thought and did felt like hypocrisy, so I decided that I would abstain from writing and focus on other work until these things got sorted out.But the problem was that I couldn't concentrate on anything else until I wrote something. I was badly stuck!!

I am reading the book of Jeremiah, and there was something in here that I felt spoke of my concerns very well. "Perhaps he will be persuaded and deceived; then we will prevail against him, and we will get our revenge on him.[Jeremiah 20:10]"

This was exactly what I felt the devil was mocking at me.He wasn't trying any strong arm tactics, but there he was trying to deceive me into falling for his wooing persuasion."And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering."[Romans 8:23]

I thank my Master for giving me the insight to understand the schemes of the devil. But, now that I have realized the control that the flesh still has over my life, it has become a very shameful realization. After all these years of pure unconditional love from my Master, here I am struggling to overcome my flesh.

I am reading the book of Jeremiah now and this book truly communicates the Heart of my Master.God calls His children "the first fruits of His harvest","My children","My people","My minister","My house","My heritage","the dearly beloved of My life","My vineyard","My portion","My pleasant portion".

When I read each of these words, my heart aches within me. My Master, He is God of awesome power and highest honor, but there He is with His arms open wide with nothing but love. Can I ever love Him back with the love He loves me with?

Maybe I started this post on a whiny note, but I choose to not end it with one.Because...

"But the Lord is with me as a mighty and terrible One; therefore my persecutors will stumble, and they will not overcome [me]. They will be utterly put to shame, for they will not deal wisely or prosper [in their schemes]; their eternal dishonor will never be forgotten." [Jeremiah 20:11]

But this whole episode will serve as a constant reminder though I am His child and have His love, my flesh is constantly at work in my life, and that I need to be cautious stand up and fight so that I can secure my love towards Him. I will overcome because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.Not only that... I have divine genes in me. Because He is holy, I will work towards becoming Holy and He will help me."Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us."[Romans 8:37]

I will not let my Lord down, because He never gave up on me. I will stand up for Him and resist every scheme of the evil one.

I will be His beloved daughter with whom He can share His heart..........Forever.

This is a promise I make to you Master because of the faith I have in your Grace!!

God can make the rich young ruler follow Him too...

The rich young ruler could not renounce his worldly possessions in order to follow Christ Jesus.Jesus remarks, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God?"

But then Jesus proceeds to make a divine proclamation, "What is impossible with men is possible with God!"

God's Word never fails; the impossible are coming to pass today.

My friend forwarded me a link to Outlook India magazine, an article written by the editor of Outlook Business, Anand Mahadevan.

An amazing testimony indeed. I believe this is the kind of worshipers that God is looking for, people fervently seeking a relationship with God and not a religious identity. I don't want to copy paste the article here, because the effect of reading it in the midst of other national and international news is truly mind blowing and I don't want you to miss it.

I, The Convert : My conversion was not a change of religion but a change of heart - Anand Mahadevan

Jesus commands my Destiny....

I heard this song for the first time only today, but it has become my favorite. I chose a simple video from youtube, so that you could get it quickly loaded on your browser. It truly takes an annointed writer to write this kind of a song.

God bless you Keith and Townend.

The Disobedient teacher

I'm in one of those particular bad-mood day today, for one reason things did not happen as I planned or the other could be some weird hormonal imbalance. I wanted to start writing ths entry without making this proclamation but my creative juice refuses to flow without blurting out the truth.I'm kinda famous for getting into mood swings, When I'm in one of those I care a least about what others think and I just misbehave like a spoilt kid.

While I retrospect my previous experiences I remember one very particular time where my Master taught me a valuable lesson.

I was heading to Scripture Class from my home, my sister and I usually walk our way to church which would take us about 10 minutes. We start by 10:50 so that we can reach by 11:00 which is when the second service of our church gets over. After this, scripture class begins.I happen to teach Grade 5 children and there are 10 children in my class.

This particular day, I started kinda late from home (i.e. around 11:00) which was purely my fault. My sister started walking with me, she had a bad cold that day and was walking really slowly. I am a kind who walks really really fast, my sister is a snail, to top that she had a bad cold that day, she was dead slow. The more she sneezed the more I got angry, I screamed at her for being disobedient and sneaking into the kitchen for chocolates from the fridge when others were asleep. I can tell you that she has a great appetite for chcolates, she can finish 5 bars of chocolates at a time.

I stopped at the middle of the road and shouted, "Just start walking back home, I don't want a fussy running nose to church".Well aware of her sister's unpredictable moods, she stayed silent and said, "I'll come, you walk ahead". But seeing that she was really slow behind me, I kept grumbling about her even more. That was when I heard the little voice of my Master in my heart "Callie.. you are just about to teach little children about Me, about My gentleness, about My patience, with this kind of temper, you cannot carry my Word to them, control your temper."

I argued with my Master, ignoring His gentle stir, and continued scolding my sister, when she could bear it no longer, she started crying and started walking fast irritatedly. My Master had to resort to Plan B.I walked a few steps and phew!! I hit a little rock and my slipper's strap ripped off!!! Bang!!, this time I felt the hand of my Master spanking me, my crying sister was many metres ahead me. I was dragging myself with the torn slipper really very slowly and crawled my way to the church. I was late by 5 minutes.

Throughout my ordeal under the scorching sun while I was inching my way to church, I didn't hear a voice from my Master instead I was telling Him, "Thank-you God for this lesson!! You love your little ones in Scripture Class very much, so you would'nt allow a disobedient teacher teaching them"."Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty."[Job 5:17]

After the opening prayer, this was the first story I narrated to them before I could tell them how Jesus healed the sick woman, and the daughter of Jairus.

I walked back home with a group of laughing children and a surprised sneezing sister, only that she was kind enough not to leave me behind as I could in no way walk in conformance with her speed now.