The Friend of a Kind

Friendship is the least complicated relationship, a few hi's, a few lunchs together, a few conversations, answering a few "hey, can you help me out on this" calls and bang! you get a friend. With social networking today, I can be a friend to a friend's intersesting friend. All I have to do is to click a button.

Friendship comes with no strings attached, and makes you feel accepted outside your home. Good friends help us discover who we are and propel us into our destiny. But, the other kind of friends manipulate us and make us lose our identity.

Staying away from bad company is a lesson we've been hearing a lot. That's a choice; we can choose whom we wish to have as friends. But the other part of the lesson is not about a choice, but a challenge. A challenge --- to be a good friend.

Your friendship started off in a great note, probably you studied together, shopped together, helped at an orphanage, prayed and had fun together. All of a sudden, things are changing color in your friend's life. You are God fearing and so is your friend. Now, things are a little different, your friend begins to do things you don't appove of. You're not really sure, but very uncomfortable, what do you do ?

"A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends,.."

The interesting part of this verse follows..

"..even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty." - Job 6:14

Now, that's a tough lesson. I interpret this Scripture as God illuminates it to me. Write to me, if you have your concerns.

Friendship calls for fierce loyalty. Maybe that's why Jesus called his disciples friends. And it is also striking that it was actually Job's friends who showed up to see Job at his point of distress. Of the many reasons existing, I think God was pretty mad at Job's friends, because they tried to enforce a 'spiritual opinion' on Job instead of genuinely trying to help him in his crisis.

We do that sometimes too. In our misdirected zeal, we sometimes say things that are of no use. We rebuke our friend by blowing our own trumpet of self righteousness. In moments like this, I think God wants us to work together with Him to help our friend out. Anyone can sympathize with someone in a difficult situation, but it takes a good friend to empathize. Others would write off our friend as someone in a hopeless situation, only we can go the extra mile and put ourself in the shoes of our hurting friend and help him or her out.

When people are in wrong, or in some kind of internal conflict, it is natural for them to get defensive. They generally get over-sensitive and tend to mistake even a casual remark, as something that is directed towards them. In this process, we could find them saying something mean and hurtful at us. But remember, you are a friend and not just good company. Right at the moment, you are her/his only confidant. If you're going to turn hostile, you're leaving behind your friend who is in desperate need of you (but ofcourse she will deny that she needs you).

Jesus said that the greatest love a person can show is to die for his friends. That's why He died for his friends when they were yet rebelling against Him. Similarly, genuine friendship sometimes calls for death of self respect. But that's the only way to show real love. The real test of friendship is not in the good times when we're doing stuff together, but when our minds are miles apart. The story of Jesus does not end with his death but in a glorious resurrection, because of the depth of his love. Even today, Jesus is able to win the hearts of many rebels (including me), because of that enduring love.

Never judge your friend, you have no idea what he/she is going through. Love your friend for who she/he is and not for what you want her/him to be. The journey would be long, you may sometimes feel lonely. But no relationship goes anywhere without effort to help each other in times of pain.

C'mon she needs you. Show her your devotion to your friendship and work with God in helping her walk in the light.

With love,
Callie...