It’s all about starting again

Almost 2 years since I updated My Master’s Voice. 

With marriage and motherhood, it was a break I expected, but didn’t imagine that it would take so long. When there were needs, I did manage to do some random writing; however, nothing means so much to me that writing my heart out at My Master’s Voice.

Though I get very excited when people read my work and say that it helped them, I primarily write here to become a better person, because everything here comes from a conversation with my Master. I feel accountable for my words; I write-pray-read the Word-study the Word, then write again, and at the end of a piece, I have an answer to take to my heart, an instruction to follow, and a word to encourage. 

I missed all of this. Though I always had many other things that made me feel blessed, I always missed My Master’s Voice. 

My vocabulary has rusted, my flair with words is blunt, fellowship with God has become a part of routine, and what I’m really concerned is that I’m steadily losing my sense of hearing my Master’s Voice, so it is time, I stop waiting for motivation, or for other things that I think will give me the time to write, it is time to 

“ Write my answer plainly on tablets,
so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.”  [Paraphrased from Habakkuk 2:2 ]

I start again…

Starting again,

Callie

A not so ordinary year

2011 started off as yet another ordinary year.  But somewhere in the middle, it drastically changed everything I thought about me, my future and my Master.

At the end of this year, I have an entirely new perspective about where I’m heading to and my assignment.

Long ago, I scribbled in my journal,

“Though I'm clumsy
Its because of You're Grace, I am called
To live for Your Glory
And to care for Your flock

Maybe not in ways
That I have dreamt it to be
But surely in Your mind
There is an assignment for me.”

And once when I was frustrated with questions about my life, I wrote,

“Coz' while it seems like I am waiting
I know that you are working
You neither sleep nor rest
Lord please help me to see
That You'll always be
Better than my very best...”

And after a tiff with my Master, I finally concluded

“God, You see beyond my plastic smile
Deeper than the reasons on my tongue
My thoughts, before they were born
And the life for which I long

My pain before it even hurts me
Unsaid prayers in the tears that run
The desires that's hidden in secret
And my dreams that's lost and gone.

Sometimes You seem so far
But that's when You’re really near
And everytime I ask You "WHY?";

To my  finite mind,
Your answer can't be clear.

That's why I trust this life,
Every bit of it,
In Your Hand.
I’ll seek to hear Your Voice
And just wait to understand...”

There were times I thought that God didn't really care about my dreams. I always knew that I was inadequate but I still believed that I had a chance to live a life who's first cause would be God's vision for mankind. But I was heading in a different direction. With the passing of each day, I thought that I was moving one step away from my divine mandate. Little, did I then know that I was actually proceeding forward.

Today, I've landed in a place I'm least likely to be in. Today, I have a bigger loving family and a husband who always puts my Master first. God has given him a ministry and I believe that supporting him would mean enabling him to do well, what God has called him do. 

Being a wife of a pastor is a role I never imagined.  But right now, I don’t see any another task, and I believe God will help me do this well. My mantra for life remains the same,

"That's why I trust this life,
Every bit of it,
In Your Hand.
I’ll seek to hear Your Voice
And just wait to understand...”

Nevertheless,  God knows me too well that He will only let me do what I’m wired for, that’s why in all my overwhelming moments, when I ask Him, “Are you sure about me??”, He whispers in return.

 

"Daughter, I have searched you and I know you". (Psalm 139:1)

Gratefully,

Callie

Can I forget my father’s house?

If you’re a girl stepped out from home because of the nuptial knot, I hope this post speaks your thoughts too.

Home, was the most comfortable place I could be. I loved to be in the comfort of my house, in the company of my family. Mom, dad and sis – That’s my favorite world.

So you can imagine how much this question would have nagged me.

However, I am so grateful that my husband’s house is only a 10 minute drive from home :)

In the real sense, forgetting your father’s house does not mean that we have to disregard our family or be ungrateful to them – rather it’s about leaving behind the ‘normal’ things of your life and adapting to the ‘NEW NORMAL’.

There’s a pretty interesting Scripture that talks about this.

Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear:

Forget your people and your father’s house;

Then the King will desire your beauty. (Psalm 45:10-11)

The context of this Psalm, is a poem celebrating the king’s marriage to a lovely princess. The psalmist praises the king for his military ability and commitment to justice, and urges the bride to be loyal to the king.

The psalm suggests that the marriage was arranged as part of a political alliance between Israel (or Judah) and a neighboring state, so the bride would therefore be a foreigner.

Quite obviously the psalmist asks the bride to forget her home and her own cultural practices. The psalmist says, “Forget your folks, then the king will be attracted to you.” (You don’t need a scholar to tell that the author of this poem was a male!)

This is hard truth. But it still is the most important principle for a happy marriage (Ok! It’s just 2 months and I’m already talking like I’ve been married for 20 years! Looks like marriage makes everyone philosophers!)

Recently, I had a little tiff with my husband, because I was insensitive to the NEW NORMAL that I had to adapt. Though the argument was extremely trivial, I started feeling homesick; and I missed my old comfortable normal life. Thanks to a man who understands the moods of his crazy wife, he got me back to normalcy.

Rigidly holding on to my old and usual practices caused me to miss my home and get unhappy. Consequently, it had the potential to diminish my attractiveness to my husband.

An important lesson is this – An exercise I need to do everyday day of my marriage life is to overcome this temptation to think about “old normals” and not let unhappy feelings take over. Instead, I need to fill my mind with thoughts of joy as I think about the goodness of my husband and the purpose of his call. This will make me attractive, and Mr.Callie would be drawn to my natural beauty.

Our Christian walk is almost similar. We can look attractive to our God, when we happily leave behind the things that are a part of our OLD life, and look forward to live in His newness.

We often expect a magical execution of this Scripture “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here – 2 Corinthians 5:17”.

My few days as a married woman taught me that this does not happen magically; rather it is something we need to do every day. We need to overcome our personal tendencies to turn back and see our past. We need to face the challenges of the present with an attitude of faith, instead of dwelling about the comforts that exist in our memories.

We're happy about new things, until we have to face a CHALLENGE. The moment we see something difficult or face something that we did not anticipate, we look back. All the Israelite folks wanted to be out of Egypt, they were happy about the new destination, but every time they faced a hurdle, they looked back. This made God mad.

Can you imagine praying, "I don't think You're plan is good enough for me, I'll go back to where I came from." No way! that is nonspiritual, un-scriptural unholy and totally unacceptable.

Whenever we turn to look back and long for the comforts of our past life, we communicate the same thing to God.

But, just like how I have a husband who will not judge me and encourages me as I take my baby steps to adapt to my new wife-life. We have a God who will not judge us, who will always give us a second chance, and give us His grace and strength to live the new life that He has called us to live.

And when the Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient KING is enthralled in your beauty, He will fill you with incomparable joy, that cannot match ANYTHING that you enjoyed in your old life.

There are things I need to leave behind and I've made my list. Have you made yours?

Love,

Callie